Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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