it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
