break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
