I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
