maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
