She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
