Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
