Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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