Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
