TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Randomize
