You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
