you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize