I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
