used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
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