I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize