my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
