the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
