question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
