i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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