worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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