that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Hippo gnu deer
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
