I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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