her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
