it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I didn't notice because vodka
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
