A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
