foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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