How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
