apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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