you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
