So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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