Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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