Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
wow bdsm is so cute
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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