this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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