Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
