I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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