No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Randomize
