You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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