i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Randomize
