I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
