Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
