my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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