ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
she pinky promised me she was 18
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
