So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
