Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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