I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
