Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
