RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I think I just sharted jello shots
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
