So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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