I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
