He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
