would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
