Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
