You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize
