Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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