i think my tv is drunk
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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