help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Who died my cat blue again?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
