I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
