He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
