i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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