That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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