WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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