I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
