2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
this will be a night to untag.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
