Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
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Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
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All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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