If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
