To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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